May 31st - I'm the babysitter today!

Staying home w/ Maddie for the day. Shannon's sister (our cousin) Tara is getting married in Georgia this weekend and she's gone from yesterday till next Tuesday. Bob had yesterday, I have today, my mom has tomorrow, Bob's parents have Monday, Bob's sister has Tuesday morning and I have Tuesday afternoon. I'm a little nervous.

See, Maddie doesn't really eat these days. Yes, that's what I said. She doesn't eat without a fight - often a major one - because she's still got this lovely reflux problem. It's awful, she's so pitiful sometimes. She's actually not spitting up all that much lately, but boy is she unhappy when you're trying to feed her. Her Dr. changed her meds from Zantac to Prevacid - I'm not thrilled about the idea of medicating an infant, but here we are. Prevacid can take up to 2 weeks to change things. What we're looking for, basically, is Maddie happily chugging down more than 3 oz. without arching her back and wailing. We have to get about 20 oz. into her daily, and while a normal baby could easily clear that by early afternoon, we're not so lucky. 20 oz. is a good day. And I usually get a stomach ache myself, worrying about her, and what all this feeding drama is doing to her. Speech delays, developmental delays, growth problems (she didn't gain an ounce from 5 months to 6 months...this isn't good.) plus God knows what's going through her little head, with Mommy and Daddy practically force-feeding her or shoveling rice cereal mixed with formula into her mouth whenever she opens it a crack. Like MY kid would need any help with eating issues. *sigh* It's worry worry worry, I tell ya. But we switched formulas yesterday, and we have another week till we can really assess how the Prevacid is working. Meanwhile, we're taking it a day, and an ounce, at a time.

Wait, wasn't I going to be the mom who took it all in stride, who never freaked out, knew what to do all the time, and certainly NEVER worried? Very few times in my life have I ever had absolutely no idea what to do, and very little or NO places to find out the answer. Why does my DVD player have a more effective owner's manual than my baby? And don't tell me about What to Expect When You're Expecting That book only applies if you're breastfeeding a text-book baby who never gets sick beyond a cute little fever and some diaper rash...my formula-fed baby has yet to be actually sick, I should mention. No colds, no flu, nadda. Not that I'm bragging. (Take that, La Leche League Nazis!)

I had a pretty fast, uneventful day. Maddie ate reasonably well. We're up to 15 oz. right now, which means we only have to get 5 more into her, and I'm pretty sure we can do that without too much drama tonight. I just straightened up, folded and put away the baby laundry, did the dishes, and took care of the girlie. I also posted on the baby's blog, uploaded pics to Photobucket and made a new slideshow (check it out!!!), "watched" half of the 3rd season of the Golden Girls...ie, left it on all day while doing stuff around the house...I was going to go to Target and drop Tara's wedding gift off at Bob's mom's house, but Maddie's naps and actual willingness to take a bottle dictated otherwise. So I stayed home, all day. Wow...

I'm going to attempt to convince Bob that we really need to go out for ice cream or water ice or something tonight, since it's so hot. Seriously, it's very very necessary. Both for getting-out-of-the-house reasons, and general yumminess.

School: 15 more days. And counting.

May 25th - Why Do Other Teachers...

...just add to the problem?

5th grade teacher drops her kids off and says "Kathy says 9AM for the picture".

????

Oh, yeah, we decided that we're taking a big school picture for for the principal, who is moving to anther school next year. By the new sign this morning, she says. A memo went out this week. Related Arts didn't get it, of course (cause we wouldn't be involved?). I had 4 kids absent from this class which is woefully behind in their compositions. So we're going outside instead. Joy.

I take them out at 9. By 9:05 the rest of the school has filtered out and we're all standing around. Teachers are bitching "this is so disorganized." (yes it is) "I didn't even know we were doing this" (me neither) "This is ridiculous!" (yes it is).

Finally some PTA mom drives her sparkly little Range Rover up and with a tiny digital camera, she starts to figure out the shot. I ask if she's our photographer and she says yes. (Wow, THAT pic is going to come out SO well!) She thinks it would look 'neat' if we all sat in front of the new school sign. 300 kids and 20 teachers are going to sit in front of the 5-foot sign? Ok..

I am sick of the teachers bitching and argravated about missing my students' class time, and I didn't have time to shave my legs this morning and my stubble is showing clearly in the morning sun. So I take charge. I move the classes around. You guys sit here, you guys stand there, move here please, yadda yadda. Lots of yelling, lots of hand clapping to get them to echo to get them to pay a split second of attention before they start playing paper-rock-scissors again. Some teachers help, some teachers bitch at me because they were already told to go sit somewhere else. Wah. My related arts collegues look particularly pissed, and are probably wondering why I'm bothering. What, I'm supposed to just let everybody sit here in the sun while my 5th grade lesson for the end of the year goes up in smoke?

We get everybody seated, I get the teachers to stand along side, the picture is taken, and we go in. Took 15 minutes (which when you think about it, isn't bad at all. But I flatter myself to think that it would have taken LOTS longer w/o yours truly stepping up.)

My question is this: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE TEACHERS?

One thing goes off schedule, one thing isn't planned the way they think it should be, and all of the sudden they "can't believe how disorganized this school is". Nobody takes control, nobody sees the problem and tries to fix it. They just stand around and bitch. Lovely example. WHAT. THE. HELL.

Am I still young and stupid or something that I actually care if my unit gets done? Is this still new-teacher enthusiasm, that I up and take charge?
I'm sure a few 'vet' (i.e. burned-out) teachers were annoyed that a barely tenured twenty-something was telling them what do to.

Again, I say: Wah.

May 17th - Light at the End

Sha-ZAM, and the concert is done. Went well. No major screw-ups, nothing that I have to think back on and have it ruin my memory of the concert with a "cannot. believe. I. did. that." moan.

Today is a personal day for me. Took one after my concert cause I'm a BAD WIDDLE GIRWL and I miss my little girl. Of course, my little girl has been out for over an hour now and SHIT I gotta go.

***

and that was me running late for a car appointment. But I don't care.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

Do NOT buy a car from Toyota or Turnersville in the Turnersville Auto Mall. I'm quite satisfied with my Toyota, make no mistake, but this dealership SUCKS. See this blog at a later date for a full explanation.

I'll do another subject-based summary of my life, because I know ya'll are just SO interested:

*School: 24 more days left. Concert went well. Too many kids in Chorus and I'm cutting it down to only 4th & 5th next year. Bad behavior and they won't hire me an assistant (or an accompanist, for that matter), so I'm just going to have to stop breaking fire codes and let less kids in, period. A teacher I can't stand is leaving to teach at another school. We're getting a new principal named Colleen, and my mentor & old principal, Sue, is going to a better position at another school in-district. The kids, some of them, not all, are getting REALLY bad. I blew my lid 3 times in one day w/ one class (the teacher of which is this award-winning nutcase who tries to be her 4th graders friend...it works in theory, hence the award. In practice, it makes for a very unruly bunch. Especially the boys). The entire Related Arts staff (5 of us) and most of the lunch aides, and, well, anybody who passes them in the hall all pretty much agree that they're all checked out. Still, I like school. I like the fact that we're almost on the "Friday" of the year even more.

House: It's a mess. I'm learning to embrace the mess, though.

Weather: Gorgeous. I love spring.

Maddie: I love my baby, too. She's still got reflux, we still have to count how many ounces she gets a day (19 1/2 min.) but she's getting (slowly) better (I think). Dr. Lerch wants to hold off on putting her on something stronger and hoping that she'll grow out of it in a few months. She IS taking more and more solids a day...I'm so ready for her to be on mostly solids and ditch this formula ounces thing. Of course that's like 6 months away...and she's not even 6 months old, so we've got a wait. She can pretty much sit up on her own now, she rolls really well, and she babbles a lot more. She also kicked the swaddle habbit about 2 weeks ago. We were trying, and she kept waking up ready and rarin' at 2 AM or whatever...and we'd chicken out and swaddle her and just like that, she'd pass out. She's been making it all night for a while now. My big girl! She's very smiley and happy and social. Loves people and loves to look at stuff and hates to miss a thing (hence the very few naps she takes). Again, can't wait for summer. Almost there, baby. But OH you should see the awesome 6 month clothes. The cuteness runneth over.

Oops, and the kiddo's awake. We'll see how long I can stay out of her room...She has been out for over an hour...hmmm...

Family: Both of my grandfathers aren't well. Pappy (Mom's side) was hospitalized twice this month; once for a bleeding stomach ulcer and once for a blocked heart valve that ended in open-heart surgery. My other grandfather on my dad's side has had several strokes and lung problems, and he's being treated for depression...probably as a result of living with my grandmother. And NO that is NOT mean and uncalled for, believe me. My mom...shit, I was supposed to call my mom today. My mom came to visit last weekend w/ my sis. Good visit. She loved her Mother's Day gift. (Cute Maddie pictures in frame)

TV: I love "Scrubs". I don't miss having cable. Some nights we don't even turn it on at all. Just watch the morning news during breakfast.

Well, she's not going back to sleep. At least I finally posted!

Later!

May 3rd - Quick Update

Maddie - She's awesome. Well, SHE is awesome. Her health is quesitonable right now, unfortunately, but we're making progress. She's doing the reflux thing again, in a bad way. We called the pediatrician Monday and he doubled her dose of Zantac and said we should see a difference in a week. If we don't see her eating well in 10 days she has to have an upper GI (not sure what that entails exactly but it doesn't sound good, especially for a 5-month old baby!). We basically do whatever we can to get food in her. Worrying like crazy about how much she eats. She's still on-target w/ her growth - 16 pounds 5 ounces and 26 inches long - but the doc wants her to have at least 700 or so calories a day...today I think she may have hit 550 or 600...and she did nothing but spit up today...green, too, since we're eating veggies. Viva greenbeans. She still eats solids like a pro, as long as she's not full. Rolling and doing great w/ upper body strength. We may have a crawler in a month or so. Gulp. Oh, and she finds Max hilarious and cuddly. Wants to watch him do tricks and pet him. So cute. Also getting baths in the big bathtub.


School - Chorus concert in 2 weeks. Kids don't know the words to a few of the songs all that well. The sub picked too many songs (I told her to narrow the library down to no more than 6 and we're doing 7). The kids are also ridiculously badly behaved, and I'm in no position to kick them out of rehearsal (kick them where? The office is empty by 3:30 usually, who would watch that kid? Eh, I'm making a million changes next year. Not putting up with half of it again.

Rachel Ray is just way too damn perky.

Life - it's hard keeping the house clean and running. I don't like to do housework while Maddie's awake because it's our precious little time with her, so working after she goes to bed is necessary...and tiring. I'd like to take a giant pipe cleaner and clean out my nose & sinus cavity. Stupid allergies. My grandfather's health is failing and he's been in and out of the hospital for several issues. He had successful open-heart surgery today. Mother's Day is Saturday for me. Yes, that's what I said. The real Mother's Day is going to be spent hopping from house to house. Saturday is a free day, so we decided (I pouted, Bob decided) that Saturday is MY day. So happy first Mother's Day to me on Saturday. And Bob is awesome.

Damn Guliani. I actually kind of like him. And if I like him, we're screwed.

Time for bed. Sleepytime! YAY!