June 19th - The questions we've all been debating...

You Are a Pinky

You are fiercely independent, and possibly downright weird. A great communicator, you can get along with almost anyone. You are kind and sympathetic. You support all your friends - and love them for who they are. You get along well with: The Ring Finger Stay away from: The Thumb

What Finger Are You?

Your Life Is Worth...

$586,000

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

You Are Krusty the Clown

You were the class clown as a kid, and you still entertain people. From faking your own death to getting a wacky boob job, you'll do anything for a laugh. You will be remembered for: your face being everywhere, from cereal to home pregnancy tests Your life philosophy: "I heartily endorse this event or product."

The Simpsons Personality Test

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 15% Conservative, 85% Liberal Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Your Career Type: Social

You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy. Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems. You would make an excellent: Counselor - Dental Hygienist - Librarian Nurse - Parole Officer - Personal Trainer Physical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher The worst career options for your are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer.

What's Your Ideal Career?

What Your Favorite Color Blue Says About You:

Emotional --- Affected --- Sensitive Peaceful --- Tranquil --- Connected Spiritual --- Experimental --- Deep

What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

You Are Ernie

Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times. You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun. How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

June 16th - Things I've Learned

Things I've Learned Today:

• I know nothing about babies, especially the sick kind.
• I suck at housework.
• Pedialyte looks good but tastes like ass.
• My bra size isn't what it used to be. It's bigger.
• You don't miss having cable when you don't have time to miss having cable.
• It's easier not to get cut off when you're towering above everybody else in a minivan.
• NPR isn't nearly as boring as it used to be.
• Creanies makes a mean chocolate milkshake.
• Chili cheeseburgers are theraputic.
• So is blogging.

June 5th - Results!

Maddie seems to have an aversion to things associated w/ eating (holding position, bottle, even the chair in her room where we usually fed her before). Will this go away on its own when her tummy feels better or will we have to ‘fix’ it?
Yes, she has an eating aversion (she's learned that it hurts to eat, so she doesn't want to. This will most likely go away when she finds that it doesn't hurt anymore (due to the changes we're making).


Should we give up on bottles and concentrate on sippy cups?
She's really young to be drinking exclusively from sippy cups. Give it a while and with the new meds and cereal in her bottles - give the bottles time.

Is her tight-sounding coughing and occasional congestion related to the reflux, or is it another issue?
Yes, and they're concerned about that cough, because it signals a worse form a relfux, and esophagus scarring. It should go away, but if it doesn't they'll look at her throat with an endoscopy.

Does formula make a difference in reflux? (no known allergies, currently trying Enfamil Gentlease equivalent)
Nope, formula really doesn't matter. Stay on the Gentlease equivalent for now, just for the sake of not changing two things at once.

Would you recommend any testing? pH Probe? (smell coming from her mouth, we think it’s acidy smelling)
That is most likely stomach acid. Yes, ouch. We'll look at it closer on the upper GI that she'll have shortly.

If so, what would that test entail?
She will drink a barium drink and they'll x-ray her as it passes into her system, looking for the path it takes and the shape of her body, making sure it's all shaped right and how much she's refluxing up.

How many ounces of formula a day do you recommend as the minimum for good growth of an active infant?
25, for hydration and to have her gain weight (still hasn't gained, since April).

To what end do we go to get there? (Force feeding really necessary?)
Don't force feed her. Her intake should improve as we change her meds and make her feel better. Try cereal, be persistent, but don't worry if she won't eat, just try again later.

How much cereal is ok in one day, understanding that we’re only giving her as much as we are to get ounces in her?
Bring on the cereal. The only reason they're concerned about cereal intake is it can cause constipation (not a problem here!) and it can cause babies go gain too much weight because of empty calories (again, clearly not a problem!)

We understand that solids are only for practice at this point, but since she takes them like a pro, will they count towards her nutritional needs?
Bring 'em on. They also add water, which she needs. All those fruits and veggies are nothing but themselves, and water.

Are the doses she’s on of Zantac (1.2 ml twice daily) and Prevacid (7.5 mg once daily) good?
Nope, we're increasing them, and she' s going to get the Prevacid morning and night now. Should help with the evening feedings.

Who will change them as she improves or grows? (You or regular pediatrician?)
CHOP will. (Good. I think my pediatrician is taking this whole baby-won't-eat thing a little too lightly. And mommies don't take that kind of thing lightly.)

Prevacid: are we doing it right? (½ of the little orange bubbles?)
Doesn't matter now, because we will split the pill and dissolve half at dinner and half the next morning, so either way she'll get the full dose in 24 hours.

What timing do you recommend for her medications?
Same as before. Before breakfast and before dinner.

When should she stop taking the Zantac (or should she stop at all?)
She will stop, but not yet.

Can we give her Mylanta if she seems particularly bad?
Yep, if she seems bad, like she's having trouble eating, give her 1-2 ml.

When should we see improvement (Normal = she’ll eat willingly and eat a normal amount for a 6 month old)?
She should eat better in 3-4 days, definitely see a difference by a week.

If things don't improve, what should we do? (Follow up appointment?)
Call in 2 weeks no matter what, earlier if she gets worse.

...I actually felt like they listened to me. I also felt like they'd seen this before, (as opposed to my current pediatrician, who seems nice but had this "Oh! I can't imagine why she won't eat!" mentality). We saw 2 different doctors, and between the two of them we were with a doctor for over an hour. THAT, my friends, is a doctor appointment.

Of course I came home and had an hour an a half to convince my whiney, hungry, sleepy child to actually give in, eat, and sleep. She ate, she didn't sleep. Actually, she took a whole 4 oz. ...wow! Almost called Bob, I was so surprised! But I had such a short time because the handbell choir BBQ was at hour house, at 5:30. Yeah, cause I was sooo ready for that. Hadn't even thought of it, with all this CHOP stuff. So I parked my precious child, the light of my life, in front of a Baby Mozart DVD, and speed-cleaned the house. PS, worked like a charm!

Party went well, and in the middle of it Maddie took another 4 oz. straight. WOW. She also slept through most of it and as a result kept her dear father up half the night.

And then this morning in the shower I remember that it's field day today, and the activity I did with the whole school didn't fly with 1st and 2nd, and I had made a mental post-it to come up with something else to do. And that post-it apparently didn't re-stick itself until 6:15 AM today. Figured that out, then remembered that I was supposed to have the whole school sing a song as part of the opening ceremony today. "You're a Grand Old Flag", right before the pledge. It's Flag Day soon, right? I typed up lyrics, printed, and planned to run copies at school.

Field day went off pretty well. I got a little sunburned, because I prioritized having everything set up by the listed starting time of 9AM over putting on sunscreen. Good example for the kids, I am. What's great is that my station went beautifully, both primary and intermediate grades, 4 & 5th especially dug it.

And PTA approved my stereo purchase, and I get to go buy it. Now, because they want it for the "Sue Send-Off". On Monday. Oh, and you're having the whole song sing a goodbye tribute song for that, right Mrs. D? WHWWHWHWHSJfkofhaiofhfhfhjdshfoksahdfjk afsfsdfj saf swhatthehell? Yeah. So help me, I'm going to publish a calendar and you'll have to write in the events for which you would like Mrs. D. to prepare the entire school to sing for on the first day of school, and that. will. be. it. But the PTA is buying me a new stereo. So they get their goodbye tribute song.

And we had this whole mess with me accidentally waiving prescription coverage for myself and Maddie because I thought Bob took it for us and he didn't, so I had to again call and lay prostrate to the bitch who runs our benefits off. She left me a frosty voice mail telling me there was nothing she could do, but I could try talking to her boss, but she didn't have is phone extension so I'd have to look it up myself. Mmm-kay, you don't know your boss's phone extension number? The boss who's in the room next to you? Riiiiight, bee-atch.

I called and emailed and begged, and then didn't have to anyway, because Bob's school had to re-do their insurance system and everybody has to re-enroll anyway.

I'm barely holding it together at school, I'm so scattered with Maddie-worries, but it's all good. 12 days left. I just need to keep up the appearance that I'm competent and care what I'm doing for a little while longer. We're doing pretty well, actually. By chance, and a friend's help, we get an appointment with good doctors. BBQ goes off beautifully with absolutely no planning on our part. Field day actually worked out. By an insurance company fluke, we have prescription coverage afterall. And Maddie took 5 oz. in one sitting this afternoon. Again, somebody up there is looking out for us.

June 4th - Mammas Don't Mess Around

So Friday I teach 5th grade, walk them down because their teacher is in a meeting and is running late, and then I stroll down to the art room to chat it up with my friend Stacey. Stace is the one who has 14 month old twins, and she's always good for some child-related sympathy and advice. Cause Maddie's shown no improvement, and on Thursday I up and decided that we were seeing a Pediatric Gastro (tummy dr.), darn it. And the earliest appointment I could get anywhere was July 19th. Wah.

Stacey's not there, but her sub, Kathy, who I'm friendly with, is. We talk for a while, school, summer, the kids, and she mentions that her daughter just had surgery at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia - top kid's hospital in the nation and a place I'd LOVE to get Maddie into...except their scheduling department never even called me back. That place is impossible to get into.) I mention this annoying fact, and that we're now waiting till July 19th for another practice's Pedi GI, and her eyes light up.

Out comes her cell and she calls her hubby - the manager of nurses at CHOP! A few phone calls, and a few hours later, and we have an appointment with one of the top Pediatric Gastro's in the country - for TODAY. Kathy & hubby will be getting a gift from us ASAP. This is a big, big, favor, and I'm beyond grateful.

SO needless to say I called in sick today, and we've got a 12:15. I spent the weekend typing up her feeding & medical history, a record of how and what she's eaten for the last 5 days, and a big list of things to ask the doctor. Let's play 20 questions, doc. I'm going to be that doctor's worst nightmare.

Tonight is our handbell BBQ...such lovely weather, THANKS, tropical depression Barry.
And I'll keep all posted about her appointment. I want SOMETHING to change. Or some advice to make things better. Here are my questions:

1. Maddie seems to have an aversion to things associated w/ eating (holding position, bottle, even the chair in her room where we usually fed her before). Will this go away on its own when her tummy feels better or will we have to ‘fix’ it?

2. If so, how?

3. Should we give up on bottles and concentrate on sippy cups?

4. If so, do you know which one is easiest to learn to suck on?

5. Is her tight-sounding coughing and occasional congestion related to the reflux, or is it another issue?

6. Does formula make a difference in reflux? (no known allergies, currently trying Enfamil Gentlease equivalent)

7. If so, what formula do you recommend she be on, and for how long?

8. Would you recommend any testing? pH Probe? (smell coming from her mouth, we think it’s acidy smelling)

9. If so, what would that test entail?

10. How many ounces of formula a day do you recommend as the minimum for good growth of an active infant?

11. To what end do we go to get there? (Force feeding really necessary?)

12. How much cereal is ok in one day, understanding that we’re only giving her as much as we are to get ounces in her?

13. We understand that solids are only for practice at this point, but since she takes them like a pro, will they count towards her nutritional needs?

14. Are the doses she’s on of Zantac (1.2 mltwice daily) and Prevacid (7.5 mg once daily) good?

15. Who will change them as she improves or grows? (You or regular pediatrician?)

16. Prevacid: are we doing it right? (½ of the little orange bubbles?)

17. What timing do you recommend for her medications?

18. When should she stop taking the Zantac (or should she stop at all?)

19. Can we give her Mylanta if she seems particularly bad?

20. When should we see improvement (Normal = she’ll eat willingly and eat a normal amount for a 6 month old)?

21. If things don't improve, what should we do? (Follow up appointment?)

oops, 21 questions. Sorry, doc.

Wishin' and hopin' and prayin' for a good appointment and a major improvement ASAP...no, I'm not impatient, we've been doing this for months. Enough is enough.
Mammas don't mess around when their babies are hurting.

May 31st - I'm the babysitter today!

Staying home w/ Maddie for the day. Shannon's sister (our cousin) Tara is getting married in Georgia this weekend and she's gone from yesterday till next Tuesday. Bob had yesterday, I have today, my mom has tomorrow, Bob's parents have Monday, Bob's sister has Tuesday morning and I have Tuesday afternoon. I'm a little nervous.

See, Maddie doesn't really eat these days. Yes, that's what I said. She doesn't eat without a fight - often a major one - because she's still got this lovely reflux problem. It's awful, she's so pitiful sometimes. She's actually not spitting up all that much lately, but boy is she unhappy when you're trying to feed her. Her Dr. changed her meds from Zantac to Prevacid - I'm not thrilled about the idea of medicating an infant, but here we are. Prevacid can take up to 2 weeks to change things. What we're looking for, basically, is Maddie happily chugging down more than 3 oz. without arching her back and wailing. We have to get about 20 oz. into her daily, and while a normal baby could easily clear that by early afternoon, we're not so lucky. 20 oz. is a good day. And I usually get a stomach ache myself, worrying about her, and what all this feeding drama is doing to her. Speech delays, developmental delays, growth problems (she didn't gain an ounce from 5 months to 6 months...this isn't good.) plus God knows what's going through her little head, with Mommy and Daddy practically force-feeding her or shoveling rice cereal mixed with formula into her mouth whenever she opens it a crack. Like MY kid would need any help with eating issues. *sigh* It's worry worry worry, I tell ya. But we switched formulas yesterday, and we have another week till we can really assess how the Prevacid is working. Meanwhile, we're taking it a day, and an ounce, at a time.

Wait, wasn't I going to be the mom who took it all in stride, who never freaked out, knew what to do all the time, and certainly NEVER worried? Very few times in my life have I ever had absolutely no idea what to do, and very little or NO places to find out the answer. Why does my DVD player have a more effective owner's manual than my baby? And don't tell me about What to Expect When You're Expecting That book only applies if you're breastfeeding a text-book baby who never gets sick beyond a cute little fever and some diaper rash...my formula-fed baby has yet to be actually sick, I should mention. No colds, no flu, nadda. Not that I'm bragging. (Take that, La Leche League Nazis!)

I had a pretty fast, uneventful day. Maddie ate reasonably well. We're up to 15 oz. right now, which means we only have to get 5 more into her, and I'm pretty sure we can do that without too much drama tonight. I just straightened up, folded and put away the baby laundry, did the dishes, and took care of the girlie. I also posted on the baby's blog, uploaded pics to Photobucket and made a new slideshow (check it out!!!), "watched" half of the 3rd season of the Golden Girls...ie, left it on all day while doing stuff around the house...I was going to go to Target and drop Tara's wedding gift off at Bob's mom's house, but Maddie's naps and actual willingness to take a bottle dictated otherwise. So I stayed home, all day. Wow...

I'm going to attempt to convince Bob that we really need to go out for ice cream or water ice or something tonight, since it's so hot. Seriously, it's very very necessary. Both for getting-out-of-the-house reasons, and general yumminess.

School: 15 more days. And counting.

May 25th - Why Do Other Teachers...

...just add to the problem?

5th grade teacher drops her kids off and says "Kathy says 9AM for the picture".

????

Oh, yeah, we decided that we're taking a big school picture for for the principal, who is moving to anther school next year. By the new sign this morning, she says. A memo went out this week. Related Arts didn't get it, of course (cause we wouldn't be involved?). I had 4 kids absent from this class which is woefully behind in their compositions. So we're going outside instead. Joy.

I take them out at 9. By 9:05 the rest of the school has filtered out and we're all standing around. Teachers are bitching "this is so disorganized." (yes it is) "I didn't even know we were doing this" (me neither) "This is ridiculous!" (yes it is).

Finally some PTA mom drives her sparkly little Range Rover up and with a tiny digital camera, she starts to figure out the shot. I ask if she's our photographer and she says yes. (Wow, THAT pic is going to come out SO well!) She thinks it would look 'neat' if we all sat in front of the new school sign. 300 kids and 20 teachers are going to sit in front of the 5-foot sign? Ok..

I am sick of the teachers bitching and argravated about missing my students' class time, and I didn't have time to shave my legs this morning and my stubble is showing clearly in the morning sun. So I take charge. I move the classes around. You guys sit here, you guys stand there, move here please, yadda yadda. Lots of yelling, lots of hand clapping to get them to echo to get them to pay a split second of attention before they start playing paper-rock-scissors again. Some teachers help, some teachers bitch at me because they were already told to go sit somewhere else. Wah. My related arts collegues look particularly pissed, and are probably wondering why I'm bothering. What, I'm supposed to just let everybody sit here in the sun while my 5th grade lesson for the end of the year goes up in smoke?

We get everybody seated, I get the teachers to stand along side, the picture is taken, and we go in. Took 15 minutes (which when you think about it, isn't bad at all. But I flatter myself to think that it would have taken LOTS longer w/o yours truly stepping up.)

My question is this: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE TEACHERS?

One thing goes off schedule, one thing isn't planned the way they think it should be, and all of the sudden they "can't believe how disorganized this school is". Nobody takes control, nobody sees the problem and tries to fix it. They just stand around and bitch. Lovely example. WHAT. THE. HELL.

Am I still young and stupid or something that I actually care if my unit gets done? Is this still new-teacher enthusiasm, that I up and take charge?
I'm sure a few 'vet' (i.e. burned-out) teachers were annoyed that a barely tenured twenty-something was telling them what do to.

Again, I say: Wah.

May 17th - Light at the End

Sha-ZAM, and the concert is done. Went well. No major screw-ups, nothing that I have to think back on and have it ruin my memory of the concert with a "cannot. believe. I. did. that." moan.

Today is a personal day for me. Took one after my concert cause I'm a BAD WIDDLE GIRWL and I miss my little girl. Of course, my little girl has been out for over an hour now and SHIT I gotta go.

***

and that was me running late for a car appointment. But I don't care.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

Do NOT buy a car from Toyota or Turnersville in the Turnersville Auto Mall. I'm quite satisfied with my Toyota, make no mistake, but this dealership SUCKS. See this blog at a later date for a full explanation.

I'll do another subject-based summary of my life, because I know ya'll are just SO interested:

*School: 24 more days left. Concert went well. Too many kids in Chorus and I'm cutting it down to only 4th & 5th next year. Bad behavior and they won't hire me an assistant (or an accompanist, for that matter), so I'm just going to have to stop breaking fire codes and let less kids in, period. A teacher I can't stand is leaving to teach at another school. We're getting a new principal named Colleen, and my mentor & old principal, Sue, is going to a better position at another school in-district. The kids, some of them, not all, are getting REALLY bad. I blew my lid 3 times in one day w/ one class (the teacher of which is this award-winning nutcase who tries to be her 4th graders friend...it works in theory, hence the award. In practice, it makes for a very unruly bunch. Especially the boys). The entire Related Arts staff (5 of us) and most of the lunch aides, and, well, anybody who passes them in the hall all pretty much agree that they're all checked out. Still, I like school. I like the fact that we're almost on the "Friday" of the year even more.

House: It's a mess. I'm learning to embrace the mess, though.

Weather: Gorgeous. I love spring.

Maddie: I love my baby, too. She's still got reflux, we still have to count how many ounces she gets a day (19 1/2 min.) but she's getting (slowly) better (I think). Dr. Lerch wants to hold off on putting her on something stronger and hoping that she'll grow out of it in a few months. She IS taking more and more solids a day...I'm so ready for her to be on mostly solids and ditch this formula ounces thing. Of course that's like 6 months away...and she's not even 6 months old, so we've got a wait. She can pretty much sit up on her own now, she rolls really well, and she babbles a lot more. She also kicked the swaddle habbit about 2 weeks ago. We were trying, and she kept waking up ready and rarin' at 2 AM or whatever...and we'd chicken out and swaddle her and just like that, she'd pass out. She's been making it all night for a while now. My big girl! She's very smiley and happy and social. Loves people and loves to look at stuff and hates to miss a thing (hence the very few naps she takes). Again, can't wait for summer. Almost there, baby. But OH you should see the awesome 6 month clothes. The cuteness runneth over.

Oops, and the kiddo's awake. We'll see how long I can stay out of her room...She has been out for over an hour...hmmm...

Family: Both of my grandfathers aren't well. Pappy (Mom's side) was hospitalized twice this month; once for a bleeding stomach ulcer and once for a blocked heart valve that ended in open-heart surgery. My other grandfather on my dad's side has had several strokes and lung problems, and he's being treated for depression...probably as a result of living with my grandmother. And NO that is NOT mean and uncalled for, believe me. My mom...shit, I was supposed to call my mom today. My mom came to visit last weekend w/ my sis. Good visit. She loved her Mother's Day gift. (Cute Maddie pictures in frame)

TV: I love "Scrubs". I don't miss having cable. Some nights we don't even turn it on at all. Just watch the morning news during breakfast.

Well, she's not going back to sleep. At least I finally posted!

Later!

May 3rd - Quick Update

Maddie - She's awesome. Well, SHE is awesome. Her health is quesitonable right now, unfortunately, but we're making progress. She's doing the reflux thing again, in a bad way. We called the pediatrician Monday and he doubled her dose of Zantac and said we should see a difference in a week. If we don't see her eating well in 10 days she has to have an upper GI (not sure what that entails exactly but it doesn't sound good, especially for a 5-month old baby!). We basically do whatever we can to get food in her. Worrying like crazy about how much she eats. She's still on-target w/ her growth - 16 pounds 5 ounces and 26 inches long - but the doc wants her to have at least 700 or so calories a day...today I think she may have hit 550 or 600...and she did nothing but spit up today...green, too, since we're eating veggies. Viva greenbeans. She still eats solids like a pro, as long as she's not full. Rolling and doing great w/ upper body strength. We may have a crawler in a month or so. Gulp. Oh, and she finds Max hilarious and cuddly. Wants to watch him do tricks and pet him. So cute. Also getting baths in the big bathtub.


School - Chorus concert in 2 weeks. Kids don't know the words to a few of the songs all that well. The sub picked too many songs (I told her to narrow the library down to no more than 6 and we're doing 7). The kids are also ridiculously badly behaved, and I'm in no position to kick them out of rehearsal (kick them where? The office is empty by 3:30 usually, who would watch that kid? Eh, I'm making a million changes next year. Not putting up with half of it again.

Rachel Ray is just way too damn perky.

Life - it's hard keeping the house clean and running. I don't like to do housework while Maddie's awake because it's our precious little time with her, so working after she goes to bed is necessary...and tiring. I'd like to take a giant pipe cleaner and clean out my nose & sinus cavity. Stupid allergies. My grandfather's health is failing and he's been in and out of the hospital for several issues. He had successful open-heart surgery today. Mother's Day is Saturday for me. Yes, that's what I said. The real Mother's Day is going to be spent hopping from house to house. Saturday is a free day, so we decided (I pouted, Bob decided) that Saturday is MY day. So happy first Mother's Day to me on Saturday. And Bob is awesome.

Damn Guliani. I actually kind of like him. And if I like him, we're screwed.

Time for bed. Sleepytime! YAY!

LUV that Changing Table!

We're Learning to Sit Up!

Yes, we said "sit up", not "spit up". THAT she does perfectly well already. Go Maddie!

Yes, another one. Dang I love 'em.

Kicky legs and retro style onesie - doesn't get better than this!

April 14th - (ala Bob Barker) "A NEW CAR!"

Pretty sweet, huh?

Actually, it's not a new car. We don't buy new cars. Major waste of money. Seriously, even car dealers don't buy new cars.

We figured out some things w/ our finances and much to our happy surprise, we actually CAN afford a minivan. So yeah, I joined the mini-van crowd. No more banging my head, no more strange contortions of back and arms to get Maddie into the center-placed carseat base every day. No more piling up large boxes from Sam's Club as high as Maddie's carseat canopy. My poor baby, she looked like just another huge bottle of laundry detergent. So we bought a 2006 Toyota Sienna. Not particularly loaded, but it's got what we need. No, no DVD player. Not necessary. My kids will not need a screen in front of them 24/7, if I can help it. Neat 3rd row seats that fold into the floor. Hugely roomy. Very good safety rating; in the event of an accident the car actually morphs into a big bean bag chair and rocks you to sleep while playing a lullaby. Ok, perhaps not. But it does have an airbag pretty much everywhere you can put one.

And we paid a couple thou less than the kelly blue book price. So it's all good. The only sad thing is that we had to say goodbye to Bob's Saturn L200. Nice car. Mid-sized sedan. But stuff was falling apart. Of course we JUST had it in the shop to fix the fan blower...but I doubt they'd have been happy to see that it didn't work when we traded it in. And who's car is it, this new one? Well, for the time being, it's MINE, baby. Bobby was a little surprised and bummed to realize that it really wouldn't make sense to buy a big minivan for carting around Maddie and all her paraphernalia only to have him drive it to work and me still take the Maddie show to Shannon's every day in my tiny Saturn SL2. If I'm 5'4'' and I'm bumping my head...yeah, not happening. BUT he's always the driver when we go places together, mainly cause I know he likes to drive and I couldn't care less. And when we go back to school in September it'll be his car, because Nana's coming here to watch Maddie. And I hate driving big cars. I hate the idea of one person in a huge gas-guzzler, I hate the idea of parking it on a street...I'll get used to it. Bob says it drives like a sedan. I haven't driven it yet. Maybe I'll take it to church tomorrow...new members class starts tomorrow. Can't I just say "sign me up?" darn it? Anyway, NEW CAR!!! YAY! I kind of embrace the whole Mini-Van Club image anyway. I'm uncool enough already that it doesn't bother me to be thought of as uncool on the road. And proud of it, btw.

On other fronts, school is going good. My sub was a major Choral person and now my kids sing better than they used to. I'm half jealous that she could accomplish this... and I half don't give a damn because my kids now have no discipline whatsoever and the younger grades are re-enacting Lord of the Flies. I do intend to look into some more choral techniques so they at least don't go down-hill.

I'm enjoying the new ABC show "Notes from the Underbelly". Of course I had to tape the pilot episode because it was on at 10, and I would be crazy to stay up watching TV until 11. On a weeknight. It's basically 30-somethings whining about how horrible your life is after you have a baby, and then in the end they'll probably discover that it's not so bad and blah blah blah, with funny situations. But OH, your marriage is over and you'll never have sex again and you'll never have money again and your body goes to hell and you lose all your friends and you never have time for yourself again and OH my GAWD...

Insert dose of reality here:
Marriage: Mine's actually better post-birth. Honest. We really approached this challenge as a team and we're appreciating each other's help and company through it. There's also a lot of things I never thought I'd see a man just jump up and do, and Bob's done them from the beginning. You grow an new appreciation for someone who will change 10 poopy diapers in a row so that you don't have to get out of the hospital bed once.

Sex: None of your dang business, but the impression they give you on this show is total crap. Your sex life is not over. Far from it. I bet a lot changes once your kid can say, walk down the hall and open your bedroom door on her own, though. *note to self: check & see if bedroom door has lock*

Money:Just budget, people. Budget before you have the kid, budget once the kid arrives, budget. Just look at how much you make and what your expenses are and decide how much you can spend on everything and then don't spend more than that. Duh. We just bought a NEW CAR (see above - yay!) so we're not destitute yet, clearly. Talk to me when she wants to go to an out-of-state private college and we might have another story.

Body: well, yeah, your body changes. My husband's body, for example, lost about 25 pounds because he was eating healthy right along with me. My genetic make-up seems to have caused the metabolic rate of a manatee, so I just didn't really gain while I was pregnant and on a really strict diabetic diet. Being off that diet now isn't helping much, though. That, and I really really really like Mexican food. And I think running is worse than Chinese water torture. Body Shmody. Moving on...

Friends: I went out and made a bunch of friends because I home all day and lonely as hell. Now that I'm back to work I actually have a lot more to talk about with my work friends, because they all have kids under 4, and I'm now in that club. Old friends probably just marvel and shake their head at crazy Meg for having a kid "so young", but people who cared enough to find out about my life that much in the first place care enough not to be too harshly judgmental, and a few friends have even expressed some jealousy about my cute little pumpkin here, so I'm calling it a win.

Time for yourself: Be a stay-at-home mom and kiss your me-time goodbye, in my opinion. You're on 24/7. I now have a lot more time for myself now that I'm working, because I have this fabulous thing called a "prep" period, where I do what I need to do. Sometimes it's grade stuff, sometimes it's surf the web and read blogs or look at YouTube. Once they get a few months old you get a routine, they take naps, and they sleep through the night. She goes to bed around 8 and although that means I have about 2 hours to get stuff done and do stuff I want, I find myself wishing she'd stay up later. You'd happily give up some me-time to get more baby-time.

I really think that all these shows that depict having a baby as this life-shattering event are written by selfish 30 and 40-somethings in L. A. who have waited so long to start their family that they've become very entrenched in their own me-centered lives. After 10-20 years on your own as an adult, living exactly the way you want, yeah, it will be a major adjustment. (Oh dear Lord, you're not the most important person in your world anymore! Whatever will you do?) Honestly, my long-winded point is that they make it look WAAAAY worse than it is, and they're jaded anyway because the longer you wait to bring a kid into your world, the harder it is to make room in that world for said kid.

Actually, the writing on the show was good, and if I can resist the urge to throw something at the TV whenever the self-centered main female character is on, I'll probably keep watching.
Since they're now switching it to 8:30 at night.

One side note: I miss my pregnancy hair. The growth hormones give you thick-shiny, gorgeous hair that doesn't quit. Mine's falling out like crazy (don't worry, I've got plenty to spare) and is breaking off so much that I have these tiny stupid fuzzy nests at my hairline. That goes away too, but not for several more months, I'm told. I miss my preggers hair, though.

So where was I before I went nuts on the new ABC show that whines about having babies? Monday I start the long-ass haul to the end of the year. Memorial Day is it, the only extra day off from now till June 21st (my last day of school and my wedding anniversary).
Gonna be a nice day.

Night!

Such fun. Ode to Zach Braff

She rolls...almost.

Easter

Happy Easter to all, and to all a good night.

This Is Amazing.

I have a kindred spirit out there. And I need to borrow her jeans...



Fine, ignore the blinkie at the left that says "I'm not fat, I'm soft." I am fat.
WHOO-HOO!!!

March 31st - The Back-To-School Run-Down

Well, I rejoined the working world and it was 40 minutes of absolutely horrible followed by 3 days of "oh, yeah, I love this stuff!"

*disclaimer: I refer you to earlier posts stating that I have no shame and am much less self-conscious since delivering Maddie 4 months ago. So when I admit that I sobbed ridiculously while driving in rush-hour traffic with no seatbelt on after dropping Maddie off, I'm not really so much admitting it as simply stating it that I DID, (and you will too!) and I really don't give a rat's patooty what anybody's take is on my sad-sack reaction to dropping my baby off that first morning.

WEDNESDAY went like this:
5:00 - Maddie's up. Paci pop, sort of back to sleep.
5:30 - I'm still awake. Damn it.
5:42 - Bob's snooze alarm goes off. Well, I give up. Lay there, try not to think about what today entails.
6:00 - get up and feed Maddie. Goes too quickly.
6:25 - Bob takes Maddie, I grab shower & get dressed in 'professional' clothes for the first time in a long time.
6:45 - eat breakfast w/ Bob and Maddie on the couch w/ CBS news.
7:05 - get ready to go.
7:20 - get out the door & hug Bob goodbye. Cry a little.
7:30 - get to Shannon's house. Realize this is it. Cry a little, get it together, gather Maddie & Maddie-related items. Get out of car and walk across street to Shannon's house.
7:31 - run into Aiden's mom (other baby Shannon watches, 13 months old). She says it was really hard for her to go back to work, and wishes me luck. Oh man, am I seriously going to lose it before I even bring her in?
7:35 - Chit-chat and getting the gear inside. After I hug and kiss Maddie goodbye, Shannon asks what time Maddie last had a bottle. I tell her 6. I'm holding it together pretty nicely. "So she'll probably want another bottle around 9, right?" ...BAM. Hit me. I'm not the one who is going to be giving Maddie that bottle. Ouch. I nod and Shannon, I guess, notices that I'm teary. "She'll be fine, really," she offers. Gone. I completely lose it, eyes stingy-blurry and can't talk. I turn and walk out the door, across the street, to the car, drive away w/o seatbelt (oops!) and REALLY lose it. Haven't cried like that in I can't remember when.
7:50 - get it together enough to notice that I really should fasten my seatbelt. Notice that I have voicemail on my cell. Bob has called to see how I am. I call him back and we talk until he gets to his school, and although I'm still pretty weepy, it makes me feel better.
8:04 - I get to school and find an old CD of a Robin Williams stand-up special and listen to a bit about the penis (yes, that's what I said) and it makes me shift gears away from baby things (easily!) and I make myself go into the school.
8:15 - stop in Steph (computer teacher)'s room to say hi. Warm welcome, she says she put a treat in my mailbox.
8:20 - stop in Stacey's room (art teacher). First thing she says is "Don't worry, it gets easier every day." and I instantly feel better. She says she cried the first week, and now she's cool. Stacey's twins are home with her mother in-law, and they're older than Maddie, but still...good to hear. I told her about my 40 minute break down, and I feel better just acknowledging out loud that I'm a big fat wuss-girl. As usual, she said she did it too. (Times two, I assume, since she has twins. Ouch.)
8:30 - finally make it down to the Elementary office, greet a dozen or so other people. Say the same things to each of them. Yes, she's great. Here's a picture. She sleeps through the night since 12 weeks but needs her paci back a few times, it's no biggie. She's with my husband's cousin who has 2 other children there. Yes, we're really happy to have her in a home with someone in our family. I hear raves about how wonderful it is that she's with family and not in a *horrified whisper* daycare center! I start to wonder what these know-it-all-but-mean-well friends would have thought if I'd told them that she was at the Malvern School in Erial, where she would have been if Shannon hadn't decided she'd like to take on Maddie.
8:45 - ran into a 5-th grader I've had since she was in 2nd grade. She just sees me, walks over and hugs me, and says "I am SO glad you're back." Couldn't have been more perfect if somebody paid her to walk up and tell me exactly what I needed to hear from a student.
And right there I'm 100% fine. Yay.

8:50 - meet up w/ sub, Sandy. Talk a bit.
8:52 - first class comes down, and the show begins. All I did all week was warm-ups and turn them over to Sandy so they could "show me what you've been doing".

It was fun. I came and went as I pleased, since Sandy was still teaching my classes. I was in and out all day, and it was nice. I talked to everybody, and got some cards and treats in my mailbox. Hershey kisses, a Target card, little notes. Nice. Caught up with everybody. Good stuff.

I think one of the best things about it is everybody else is all but burned out and I'm fresh from a break from teaching that was double the length of summer. I seriously can't wait to get back in and get started. I'm also left with 2 1/2 months of school, and way more than that in lesson plans. So I basically get to pick my favorite lessons and say "oh well" to the rest.

And it also helps that I have an awesome baby and a wonderful hubby to come to home to. Having given birth naturally and done all the incredible kiddo stuff really gives you a fresh and easy perspective. Want to be bitchy and catty and start stuff, stupid coworker who should have already retired? Eh, go nuts, see if I care. Want to be disrespectful and rude, ignorant kid? Fine, I'll go home to the one who (gloriously) lights up when I walk in the room. Don't care.

So yeah, we're all good, and that was a run-down of my back-to-school experience.
Still adjusting a little to not being around Maddie all day. Still anxious that she's getting what she needs in the way of stimulation, play, and love while I'm away. Still a worrier, I am.

But as a mom if you don't worry, your head implodes on itself. So we're all good.

Nerd? Me????

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Musician Doo doo de doo waaaa doo de doo! (<-- That's you playing something.) Everyone appreciates the band/orchestra geeks and the pretty voices. Whether you sing in the choir, participate in a school/local band, or sit at home writing music, you contribute a joy to society that everyone can agree on. Yay! Welcome to actually doing something for poor, pathetic human souls. (Just kidding.)
Drama Nerd
Social Nerd
Literature Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Anime Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

March 27th - Figures & Self Control

I figured out something:

Drop-off at 7:15, pick up no later than 4:15. 9 hours a day at Shannon's, hopefully a minimum of 2 hours of naptime a day there, so 7 waking hours a day a Shannon's, times 5 days a week = 35 waking hours a week at her sitter's.

1/2 hour awake time every morning (more probably, but I'll be conservative) with us before we leave. 4 hours (4pm - 8pm) in the evening. 4.5 hours a day time 5 days a week = 22.5 hours on the weekdays ...

Awake on weekends aprox. 11 hours (13-14 hours a day, plus 2 hours of naptime, minimum). 2 days of this = 22 hours on weekends. 22 + 22.5 = 44.5.

Maddie is with us more hours than she's with her sitter. Victory, baby.

Plus we have Spring Break coming up. And SUMMER.
Ok, I feel better now.

I haven't worked in almost 5 months. It'll be 5 months next Tuesday. I can't think of a longer period of time that I haven't been working somewhere since I was 16. Of course I wasn't working for a while in college - well, I was working my butt off there, I was just paying instead, of being paid. Didn't work for 5 months. And really it's been the hardest 5 months of my life, and the best. Heck, it's definitely been the most exhausting 5 months on record. Well, onto a new balance in life, I guess. Going to be a working mamma, having it all, career and family.

Truthfully you can't come up with a better non-home-based career than teaching if you're going to be a mom. First of all, it's centered around children. They know kids, and they understand all the truly bonkers things they do - and understand why you might be late because there was gum in your car's ignition, and so on. Or that you had to change your shirt 4 times because baby spit-up just doesn't smell all that great after the sun hits it. But you also get decent hours - a tad early for my taste. I don't think we should start till 9:30. But that's my lazy butt for ya. And you have breaks, summer, etc. It's the good life.

It's not like I have a choice. Our mortgage payment says I have to go back to work. There's just other worries, too. See, you can feel simultaneously judged for having a job that gives you so much time to be with your kid (lazy teachers!) and judged for wanting to have that job and not stay home with your kid (selfish mother!). It's the good life.

Sorry, being meladramatic, but if you read this regularly you know I swing that way. I'm going to blame the hormones as long as I can, screw it. But oh, the worries: Will she be ok? Will she eat for Shannon? Will she take naps? Will Shannon's willful 3 year-old bounce toys off Maddie's soft spot like she was attempting to do yesterday? Only time will tell.

Will I be ok? After I drop her off, put up a good impression of holding it together until I drive away, cry probably most of the way through Lindenwold...yeah, I probably will be ok. It'll get easier every mile, and by the time I hit Marlton I'll probably have mentally dug out and dusted off my "Mrs. D." hat, and let the "Mommy" one have the day off for a change. I'm really looking forward to teaching again. I'm also looking forward to the units I've planned, the school events, my friends, and my students. Pathetic as it sounds, I'm looking forward to having somewhere definite to go every morning. That bugged me like crazy for the last few months. And I'm really looking forward to being around lots of people all day again. I celebrate my neediness. My kid will probably enjoy some one else's constant chatter for a change, come to think of it.

And to those of you who are thinking "Good LORD you're a mess! Why such a big deal about going back to work? You'll see the baby when you get home, geez!" (I do a pretty good impression, no?) I restate the words I scoffed at before I had a kid: You never understand until you have one of your own. I used to think that was crap. Now I think it's gospel. That sweet baby smell, that warm heavy softness on your arm, those feather-curls against your cheek as she rests her head on your shoulder... you think of that as you drive away, and unless you excercise a great deal of self-control, you'll rush back to whatever daycare arrangement you have and cancel it forever on the first day you finally go back to the working world. That baby is the most important thing you've ever done, every bit of your life, energy, and love gets poured into her every day. And you're handing her over to a well-meaning person who's basically a stranger. Self-control...

It's getting late, and *gasp!* tonight's a school night. Well, my bags are packed (I'm ready to go, I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbyeeeeee...). My rolling crate is full of pictures, pens, and the spinny desk organizer thing I got at Staples. Ready to go? Um, no, not really. But I think I'll be pretty good when I get there.

Wish me self-control.

Older Video - But CUTE!

The First Cereal

Not too successful, but way too much fun.

Sorry it's so dark, the digital camera takes really dark videos.

March 22nd - On Going Back to Work

While she's asleep and I actually have (almost) everything done I wanted to get done - the new shower curtain can hang itself, thankyouverymuch. Haha - I think I'll blog.

I go back to work next Wednesday. The 28th- 30th Sandy (my sub) is still there, and we're transiioning the kids from her to me. But it takes us a week to see all he kids, so the whole transitioning thing is pretty useless. But it gives me time to ease in. BE there, without acually doing a whole lot of WORK.

...and, well, they say that admitting it is the first step, soooooo:

I'm not that upset. Well, I'm going to miss my little peanut constantly. It's going to bug the Hell out of me that she'll spend the majority of her waking hours with someone else. And I'm going to be desperate for Maddie time when we get home every night. But when I'm honest with myself I don't even cringe when I remember that it's my last Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. home with Maddie.

Reason #1: It's not really my last days, for Heaven's sake. I work 3 days, have a weekend, work 4 days, have Spring Break, work 3 days, have a weekend, and THEN, beginning April 16th, I actually have a full work week. Viva this time of year! And then I have 10 more weeks till summer. And there's a few half-days and a Memorial day in there too. So I have plenty more Mondays, Tuesdays, etc.

Reason #2: She takes naps. Lately, she takes 3 or more hours worth of naps a day. So there's 3 or more hours that I'm not really missing anything anyway. I know, that's stupid, but it helps. She's been going to bed earlier and earlier, but it hasn't mattered until now...yeah, Shannon is a professional mommy, she'll hopefully be able to get Maddie to sleep more during the day. So I get more Maddie time at night. Damn I'm selfish.

Reason #3: I miss work. I miss getting up and going somewhere in the morning where everybody knows me and I can always find someone to hang out with. And there's hundreds of kids who I like too. Oh, and I have actual friends who I actually sit and chat with and do stuff outside of work with (on very rare occassions, we all have kids under 4, it's tough.)

Reason # 4: I like my job. I like creating new lessons, I like getting on the floor and making a lot of music (noise?) with kids, I like the school environment, and I like hearing their little stories about their dog or the popsicle they ate for breakfast.

...Reason #5: I'm a bit pathetic, codependent, and needy, and I REEEEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLY hate sitting around the house all day with no one to talk to. Yes, I talk to my baby. Constantly. She's 4 months old and she's already mastered the teenaged "shut UP, Mom!" eye roll. No, seriously, I talk, but I like to listen and be listened to. And since I've started talking back to episodes of "Scrubs", I think it's time to go back. Before I descend further into madness. Wha ha ha ha haaaaaa!

Yes, I feel tremendously guilty about wanting to go back to work. I'm supposed to be choked up and miserable. I am, too - when I think about Maddie not having me all day. I know her cries, I know how she likes to be held, I know how to deal with her nutsyness with eating. I'm the only one who knows how to be her mommy. But I also know that I just wouldn't be a happy person if I weren't also being a teacher. And a baby needs a happy mommy, period.

But oh, I've got worries: What if Shannon doesn't feed Her Extremely Tempramentalness and she freaks and won't eat? (reflux sucks.) And what if she doesn't get any attention? Actually, that's not likely to happen, they've wanted another baby for so long they're soooo thrilled to have a warm-up baby sister for their daughter before her real little sis arrives in July. What if Shannon finds she can't keep up with everything and, uh, dumps us? She is pregnant, I couldn't have done what she's about to do. What if Shannon's 3-year old sticks something up Maddie's nose out of curiosity, and...well, they live closer to our pediatrician than we do. But most of all:

What if she starts liking Shannon more than me?

Well, she's awake now. And we're going to the Mall for a little mommy-daughter shopping, and then meeting a friend (from school!) who's home with her new daughter, too! Enjoying our "last" Thursday.

The Many Faces of Maddie

The Many Faces of Maddie

"must...concentrate..."




"Whachoo talkin' bout Willis?"

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am."

March 20th - BIG Couple of Days

Well, we did it.
The Christening was beautiful. She was amazingly happy and smiley all day long. She put up with so much; a huge break in routine, long streches with no nap,weird feedings, 50 pople at her house all wanting to hold and cuddle her,and one long, white gorgeous dress - all day long. Here's a set of pics. I'll have to blog about it all some other time. It was awesome.

Maddie w/ proud Mommy & Daddy:

Maddie w/ Godparents; Uncle Nick & Aunt Cait

Grammy made her beautiful dress!

Cutest little Christenign bonnet that gets turned into a wedding hankie someday. :-)

She also had her 4-month appointment yesterday. 14 pounds, 24 inches long, healthy, strong, and READY FOR SOLIDS!!!

We tried cereal yesterday. Rice cereal, not Lucky Charms, Nick. She did eat some of it...we think.

Her 4-month shots really threw her for a loop though. She was inconsolable for hours last night, and then she slept like a log for 10 hours last night. And she's now well into hour 3 of her morning nap. Very fun for Mommy.

This is also my last week home with her before I go back to work. I'm looking forward to going bcak; I miss my job, my friends, my students, my creative outlet (beyond figuring out how to fit all those dishes in the dishwasher). It'll kill me to leave her somewhere for 8 hours a day. The babysitter is Bob's cousin Shannon, though, and she knows what she's doing. They're very excited to have Maddie there, and I think she'll be in very good hands. And it's only 3 months till summer. 3 months from Thursday, actually. Not that I'm counting.

So yeah, it's been a big couple of days. Christening, party, appointment, cereal, SLEEP.
Oh, and after our 2nd bottle of the day we're going to try cereal again, and then we're going to Target. Good stuff.

March 16 - Ahhhh- FREAK OUT!

Christening in 2 days.

Lots of people, LOTS of money, LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSS of work.

All so my absolutely wonderful child can be presented to the church and yadda yadda yadda she's already been to church 3 times and every old bitty in a 10-mile radious has already gotten a piece of her. We just have to dress her in a big white dress and put water on her head so she'll scream in front of everybody and everybody can smile and say "awww" and give her a picture frame that says "Jesus Loves Me".

Actually, I'll probably bawl. They have this song they sing while you walk the baby around the congregation so everybody can see her (while she screams...please, I have no false hope that she'll be all dimpled and smiling after the shower she's gonna get) and they put the baby's name in it and I'm going to lose it right about then, don't worry.

Anyway MUCH work to do. Clean house, get ready for house guests, (including pre-cleaning the bathroom because my mother has it in her head that I'm going to let her clean my bathroom. Ha ha.) And then there's the snowman collection that ate my kitchen table and the Easter decor needs to be put out and at some point we have to brave the icy elements and buy food to feed these 45 + people. Holy crap I don't even know where to start.

No wait, I do. I"ll start by going back in time and booking a hall and caterers. With waiters who wear little bowties.

March 13th - lists

She's asleep, been asleep since 7:30 - an hour early, but we got her up an hour early.

Because I had to drive Bob to school.
Because I had have the car today .
Because I needed to go back to Bob's school with Maddie for her 'introduction' to his faculty during lunch, and our other car is in the shop.
Because the tail and brake lights weren't working, which we found out...
Because Bob got pulled over in Atco and ended up with 2 tickets (don't worry, he'll get out of the one and get the points taken away for the other, hopefully).
Because Nicole told us how.
Because she's all wordly and smart and we know very little about this stuff.
Because Bob's not exactly the type to get pulled over and know what to do in traffic court.

Sunday is her Christening. 40 + people coming to my house. And I'm feeding them. :-) I know, I'm screwed.

The whole "you just had a baby, you have an excuse to: not do anything, have a dirty house, order out instead of cooking", etc. That goes out the window by the time you have the Christening. Suddenly things are supposed to be clean and organized again. Doh!

Still have to:
Clean the house (such a big job I'm going to type it twice so it's represented appropriately).
Clean the house.
Oh, except for the bathrooms, because my mom has informed me that she's cleaning my bathrooms for the party, (because when I clean bathrooms I slop mud everywhere and dump the trash can on the floor and make garbage angels, right Mom?).
Finalize the food
Finalize who's bringing what (hopefully the people who said they'd bring something actually bring it!).
Buy all the food
(Saturday) Prepare all the food
Buy decorations - yes, they make Christening decorations, I just have to locate them.
Borrow tables & set them up
Set everything up.
Make sure the dress fits
Make sure we have the hat, shoes, white blanket, etc.

...and after the Christening is my last week home w/ Maddie.

I won't lie and say that I'm completely torn up about it. I'm scoping out things at her sitter tomorrow. Ok, her sitter is Bob's cousin Shannon. She's a super-mom. No, seriously. She has a 3 year-old girl and watches a 1 year-old boy. A few poeple (my mother - boy she's working her way in here a lot tonight) were concerned that Maddie won't get enough attention. Eh, it's better than a daycare. And a baby - a baby who's used to having her every demand met within seconds - would probably steal the attention away from the at least the preschooler. I'm hanging out at Shannons' tomorrow.

As for going back, I'm ready. I miss it. I'll miss HER, God knows. It kills me that she'll spend 9 hours a day with someone else. The majority of her waknig hours she'll spend with someone else. Damn it. But summer's coming soon enough. And the idea of going back is actually enticing. I want to start Boomwhacker Club and Handbells and Chorus and there's these wonderful spring lessons that I love teaching, these fun songs I always do. And James & I always do the dance unit after Spring Break. That's fun. (And I have an excuse to wear sneakers for a solid month.)

Well, I want to get some things done before Bob gets home from night conferences. He's working so hard on getting the yearbook done. He's going to be done this week - halleluja! I'm beat. And I'm on baby duty tonight. And since she slept straight through without one paci-pop last night (because it was Bob's night, we alternate now) she'll probably be up several times tonight. Tomorrow morning, that is.

Night.

Eat it! Just Eat it!

March 8th - Guessing game.

Thursday's a pretty good... Oops, the kid just woke up...wait, maybe not.
Babies don't just cry to let you know they're awake.
OH no.

They mess with ya.
They'll make sleepy little noises at first, little grunts or wimpers, to let you know that while they're not completely comatose anymore, they may still stay asleep another 15 minutes, maybe more. Or they might even fall back into that glorious state of ZONK where you could pick them up, change their diaper, and perform a Punch & Judy show with their arms - and you wouldn't wake them.

OR they could just be laying there, awake, waiting for you, and have passed gas or something. Hence the grunting.

But see, you never know. You never know if that little noise you just heard over the Fisher Price Light & Sound monitor was the beginning of an outbreak of wailing that can only be stemmed by a 5 oz. bottle of "nummies", or your little angel being an angel, asleep and dreaming.


****

Half a bottle, 2 diaper changes,much spit-up, and a cuddle session later:

It was the wailing fit one.

March 5th - BIRTHDAY GIRL!

Happy Birthday to me!!!!

3/5/06: My 25th birthday. Cake by Bobby. 25 years old and very newly preggers.

3/4/07: Cake by Bob's Mom (dark chocolate...mmm). Technically still 25 years old (for a few more hours) and un-pregnant. End result on my lap. Cutie pie!

March 4th - On Turning 26.

My God I'm going to be 26 years old tomorrow. Damn I'm old.

Actually I don't feel that old. I mean, I'm acting old - I act like a 36 year-old probably. I have a husband, a house, a career, a baby, I don't go out, I don't party, I don't drink, and I don't particularly feel the need to socialize much. A get-together w/ mom or work friends here and there. Mostly I'd rather stay home w/ Bob & the kiddo than 'go out with the girls' and act like a girl in her 20's.

Heh. I used to thrill at being mistaken for an older girl. I look older than 26. But we're getting into dangerous territory here, mid-twenties...I'll have to start tipping the hairdresser less when she says "boy, you look older than ___" instead of taking it as a compliment. I really need a haircut, come to think of it.

SO it's been a month since I've bloggied. Well, my days aren't exactly blog-friendly. I have a feeling I"ll be doing it a lot more in a few weeks when I go back to work. Desk time in adundance.

I go back in 3 weeks. March 28th is my first day back. March 26th and 27th I'm hoping to take Maddie over to Shannon's (Bob's cousin, who'll be watching Maddie from when I go back till the end of the year). So yeah, I have 3 weeks. I went from "get me outa here" to "already?"

Anyway, to get ready for my return from work I'm staying home a little more, just playing w/ Maddie a little more, and letting housework go - I figure I won't be doing it during the day when I'm back to work, let's see what life is going to be like in a few weeks, so we can get used to things. Screw the dishwasher (unless I'm out of bottles). F the laundry. Let's see what the life of a working mommy is like. (Probably sucks a bit, housework-wise.) And thank God that summer's really not that far away. :-) Every day a weekend.

And tomorrow's my "big day". Officially on the other side of 25 and inching towards 30. Holy. Crap.

And Happy Birthday to Me. Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday dear Mee-eeeeeee....

February 5th - Just Pouchy/Weekend Update

No, not talking about my leftover baby stomach...which sits nicely atop the paunch I was already sporting.

I'm attempting to buy a pouch - a kind of baby carrier, kind of like a sling. They're easy (easy is a subjective thing, but they're intended for ease of use, let's put it that way). I'm buying one from a WAHM (work at home mom) I met while posting on the Babywearing board on pregnancy.org. Ah, the age we live in. Holly makes them - that's her business! I'm pscyhed - I may even get it by the end of the week. I was using the Infantino sling w/ Maddie but 1. she'll grow out of it in a few months and pouches you can use up to toddlerhood and 2. there's now a warning that the Infantino caused poor breathing in babies when they fell asleep inside (something about being chin-to-chest cutting off their airway! Ack!) So I wait by my inbox, then wait by the mailbox. :-) Well, not by it. It's freakin' freezing out there!

Life is pretty good; Babying is decent; We found out she has reflux, hence all the screaming while eating, and the doc put her on baby Zantac. Aw, just like mommy! Then I found out that despite the fact that I filed all her paperwork correctly, she doesn't exist according to my benefits office, and therefore, my insurance company. Joy. 400 phone calls later, she does, they're stupid, they're sorry, and they still insist that they don't have my paperwork (sent it, 100% sure) and that I never called to tell them she was born (did so 11/22 at 1:26 PM for 1 minute, according to my phone bill). I'm annoyed and releived and it's all good now.

I'm still worried about Bob and his work demands - that's the main concern lately. He has so much to do: yearbook, band, class, grades, and he agreed to help with the musical 'for a few weeks'. Yeeeeaaaaah...I've worked for a musical 'for a few weeks' before myself. Sucked. I ended up coming twice a week for two hours a day, handling all the paperwork and organizing, and being stuck through the end of the show. Sucked.

We just had a very nice weekend. Friday night shopping goes well now - Maddie's more agreeable to the stroller, and we know that if she does freak out we can sling her and it keeps her happy - as long as we're careful w/ her breathing, apparently! Saturday we hit Sam's and stocked up. It's so fun shopping there - the prices make you feel all smart and there's something so satisfying about buying 30 Clorox Toilet Wand refills. :-) The rest of Saturday we spent on housework and school work, passing Maddie back and forth between us. Sunday we went to church so Bob could sub for the choir director (hello quick $75 bucks!) and the old ladies were all over Maddie. She was such a good girl, too. Not a peep, and awake the whole time. Then we went to Adelphia's for Bob's mom's birthday. The poor lady was sick as a dog this week, I feel so bad! Her 50th birthday was Tuesday and her class had a 'publishing party' that I brought the baby to. So she got the pleasure of walking Maddie around to show to everybody - that made her day. We gave her the formal portraits we had done of Maddie, which turned out beautifully. And DAMN was that brunch buffet good. The pastries, people! The rest of Sunday we spent happily at home, playing w/ the dog and the kiddo, Bob playing with his new software and me researching and finally settling on a pouch to buy. Good weekend.

Oh! Friday was awesome, too. I finally got my butt to "Mommy & Me Morning" at the Virtua Health Ed. center when it was actually in session. It's amazing - just 30 or so moms and their <1 year-old babies. A bunch of blankets and strollers and lots of noise. They served coffee, bagels, and fruit, and you just sit around and talk w/ the other moms. They have a nurse and a lactation consultant there, and a baby scale. Women bring in formula and diaper coupons, swap baby clothes, and share experience and advice. They often have speakers or informational sessions - financial planning, baby yoga, baby massage, and health issues, etc. I met lots of very nice moms and actually sat and talked to two lovely ones for 2 hours! Mine is the oldest baby of the three of us, it's funny. I'm not used to her being the oldest anywhere! The only thing I mind about it is that I didn't start going sooner - those first 4 weeks or so I could have REALLY used this that support.

Well, I apparently wasted my shower time blogging, because Maddie is up now and probably wants fed. Gotta grab a shower on the next nap, I guess. You have to weigh your priorities carefully w/ a baby at home, and today it's so cold that the thought of taking off this fleece robe is significantly less appealing by the minute.

Happy frozen giblets, everybody!