Dejavu

Wait, I've been here before...sitting happily on the couch, coffee, laptop, TV on the Early Show, feet up on the couch, at 8:15 on a Monday morning. 8:15 is teacher report time at my school. ;-)

Today I'm taking Maddie to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia's specialty care unit for her follow-up appointment. Her original appointment was in June. We'd been struggling with her reflux and eating aversion ("Bottles? I HATE bottles! No bottles!") and she hadn't gained weight or grown in two months. I was a fretful, emotional mess. I opened up to a substitute teacher I'd know for some time, and mentioned that I hadn't been able to get Maddie a pediatric gastro appointment anywhere until July, Children's Hospital couldn't take us till late July. Her hubby was the manager of nurses at CHOP, and she got us an appointment for the next business day. Bless you, Kathy Karpovich. And your hubby. They treated Maddie's reflux more aggressively and monitored her weekly - I finally felt like somebody knew that this whole baby-refusing-to-eat-anything thing was real, and that they cared how she was doing, at every turn. We were also seen by a specialist nurse and had her weighed every other week. She got better, and now not only does she eat, but she also takes 4-5 oz. bottles 3 times a day. Life is SO much better now.

So here I am, on the couch, waiting till it's time to take her to CHOP and show her doctors (oh yeah, she has 2, plus the specialist nurse) how well she's doing and find out what they want us to do now. I was a mess, she was a mess, and now we're doing fine.

My set-up here ( again, coffee, laptop, Early Show, feet up) reminds me very much of how much time I spent like this a year ago. 9 months pregnant, big as a cruise liner, and no idea what was in store. House to myself, morning sun coming through the window, dryer clanking downstairs, and no baby yet. (Mine is having her morning nap at the moment.) I didn't get too many moments like this when I was home with her last winter. Even though she was a lot less mobile, she was a heck of a lot more work. Eh, I'll know how to do it all next time. It's got to be easier the 2nd time around. Right? RIGHT?

I actually had the thought that if we want our kids to be pretty close together, I'll have to start getting ready for kid #2 at the end of this school year. (See the Dr. for a health check, stop the pill, kick the coffee habit, etc.) Dear Lord I'm just getting really comfortable with life as it is. It's actually REALLY comfortable right now. This is nice. Mmmm...coffee... maybe they'll come out with findings that coffee doesn't cause any harm to unborn babies between now and my next pregnancy. Bring it.

I had no idea last October what the year would bring, with the breastfeeding failing, the sleep deprivation, the stay-at-home angst, and the horrible, gnawing worry that your kid is is pain every time she eats and therefore, really isn't eating. I'm amazed how little I knew, couching it last October, putting up my swollen feet.

I'm getting flashbacks again to that morning in June when I'd taken an impromptu sick day (well I had no personal days left after my maternity leave) to take Maddie to our quickly-gotten CHOP appointment. I spent her naptime typing up her 'stats', her eating habits (or lack thereof, as my child seemed to subsist on air for about 3 months) and saying mini-prayers every 5 minutes that THIS appointment would be the beginning of the end of the reflux. THIS would fix her and get her healthy and happy again. I was feeling VERY sorry for myself and my kid...and that lasted until we got into the waiting room and saw the REALLY sick kids. Horribly sick kids there, and I felt horrible for having felt sorry for us. But those CHOP doctors fixed her up, over time, and adjusted things every time she took a turn for the worse. I got what I prayed for.

I'm hoping they tell me to wean her off one medication or another (she's on 3 right now, plus a vitamin drop), I'm hoping they give me the A-ok to stop giving her rice in her bottles, and I'm hoping they say they don't need to see her again, at least not for a long time.

And I'm hoping she sleeps a few more minutes. Cause my first class is starting right now, and I'd really like to sit back and enjoy the fact that I am couching it with my feet up and not teaching a chatty 5th grade.

Hey, I'm paying my dues. I'm schlepping my kid to 2 doctor appointments (getting her flu shot at 3), doing 3 loads of laundry, generally chasing after a crawling ball of energy all day.