March 31st - The Back-To-School Run-Down

Well, I rejoined the working world and it was 40 minutes of absolutely horrible followed by 3 days of "oh, yeah, I love this stuff!"

*disclaimer: I refer you to earlier posts stating that I have no shame and am much less self-conscious since delivering Maddie 4 months ago. So when I admit that I sobbed ridiculously while driving in rush-hour traffic with no seatbelt on after dropping Maddie off, I'm not really so much admitting it as simply stating it that I DID, (and you will too!) and I really don't give a rat's patooty what anybody's take is on my sad-sack reaction to dropping my baby off that first morning.

WEDNESDAY went like this:
5:00 - Maddie's up. Paci pop, sort of back to sleep.
5:30 - I'm still awake. Damn it.
5:42 - Bob's snooze alarm goes off. Well, I give up. Lay there, try not to think about what today entails.
6:00 - get up and feed Maddie. Goes too quickly.
6:25 - Bob takes Maddie, I grab shower & get dressed in 'professional' clothes for the first time in a long time.
6:45 - eat breakfast w/ Bob and Maddie on the couch w/ CBS news.
7:05 - get ready to go.
7:20 - get out the door & hug Bob goodbye. Cry a little.
7:30 - get to Shannon's house. Realize this is it. Cry a little, get it together, gather Maddie & Maddie-related items. Get out of car and walk across street to Shannon's house.
7:31 - run into Aiden's mom (other baby Shannon watches, 13 months old). She says it was really hard for her to go back to work, and wishes me luck. Oh man, am I seriously going to lose it before I even bring her in?
7:35 - Chit-chat and getting the gear inside. After I hug and kiss Maddie goodbye, Shannon asks what time Maddie last had a bottle. I tell her 6. I'm holding it together pretty nicely. "So she'll probably want another bottle around 9, right?" ...BAM. Hit me. I'm not the one who is going to be giving Maddie that bottle. Ouch. I nod and Shannon, I guess, notices that I'm teary. "She'll be fine, really," she offers. Gone. I completely lose it, eyes stingy-blurry and can't talk. I turn and walk out the door, across the street, to the car, drive away w/o seatbelt (oops!) and REALLY lose it. Haven't cried like that in I can't remember when.
7:50 - get it together enough to notice that I really should fasten my seatbelt. Notice that I have voicemail on my cell. Bob has called to see how I am. I call him back and we talk until he gets to his school, and although I'm still pretty weepy, it makes me feel better.
8:04 - I get to school and find an old CD of a Robin Williams stand-up special and listen to a bit about the penis (yes, that's what I said) and it makes me shift gears away from baby things (easily!) and I make myself go into the school.
8:15 - stop in Steph (computer teacher)'s room to say hi. Warm welcome, she says she put a treat in my mailbox.
8:20 - stop in Stacey's room (art teacher). First thing she says is "Don't worry, it gets easier every day." and I instantly feel better. She says she cried the first week, and now she's cool. Stacey's twins are home with her mother in-law, and they're older than Maddie, but still...good to hear. I told her about my 40 minute break down, and I feel better just acknowledging out loud that I'm a big fat wuss-girl. As usual, she said she did it too. (Times two, I assume, since she has twins. Ouch.)
8:30 - finally make it down to the Elementary office, greet a dozen or so other people. Say the same things to each of them. Yes, she's great. Here's a picture. She sleeps through the night since 12 weeks but needs her paci back a few times, it's no biggie. She's with my husband's cousin who has 2 other children there. Yes, we're really happy to have her in a home with someone in our family. I hear raves about how wonderful it is that she's with family and not in a *horrified whisper* daycare center! I start to wonder what these know-it-all-but-mean-well friends would have thought if I'd told them that she was at the Malvern School in Erial, where she would have been if Shannon hadn't decided she'd like to take on Maddie.
8:45 - ran into a 5-th grader I've had since she was in 2nd grade. She just sees me, walks over and hugs me, and says "I am SO glad you're back." Couldn't have been more perfect if somebody paid her to walk up and tell me exactly what I needed to hear from a student.
And right there I'm 100% fine. Yay.

8:50 - meet up w/ sub, Sandy. Talk a bit.
8:52 - first class comes down, and the show begins. All I did all week was warm-ups and turn them over to Sandy so they could "show me what you've been doing".

It was fun. I came and went as I pleased, since Sandy was still teaching my classes. I was in and out all day, and it was nice. I talked to everybody, and got some cards and treats in my mailbox. Hershey kisses, a Target card, little notes. Nice. Caught up with everybody. Good stuff.

I think one of the best things about it is everybody else is all but burned out and I'm fresh from a break from teaching that was double the length of summer. I seriously can't wait to get back in and get started. I'm also left with 2 1/2 months of school, and way more than that in lesson plans. So I basically get to pick my favorite lessons and say "oh well" to the rest.

And it also helps that I have an awesome baby and a wonderful hubby to come to home to. Having given birth naturally and done all the incredible kiddo stuff really gives you a fresh and easy perspective. Want to be bitchy and catty and start stuff, stupid coworker who should have already retired? Eh, go nuts, see if I care. Want to be disrespectful and rude, ignorant kid? Fine, I'll go home to the one who (gloriously) lights up when I walk in the room. Don't care.

So yeah, we're all good, and that was a run-down of my back-to-school experience.
Still adjusting a little to not being around Maddie all day. Still anxious that she's getting what she needs in the way of stimulation, play, and love while I'm away. Still a worrier, I am.

But as a mom if you don't worry, your head implodes on itself. So we're all good.